I might be too old for this - or not old enough.

So I was scheduled to work for Janel today in the gardening business. I had my assignment ("Try to be at my place at 8, not 8:20," she stated). It was a beautiful sunrise, all orange. I had my new SPF t-shirt on, white of course, as specified in the dress code, so I wasn't afraid of getting a sunburn this time. I knew there was rain in the forecast, but how many times have those guys been wrong? Nothing to worry about.

It's easier to pace yourself when you work alone. I spent a lot of time at the property thinking about stuff, raking contemplatively, crap that you can't get away with when you work with the team. I like that aspect of the gardening work.

But I'm afraid I'm going to forget how to wear a suit, or walk in heels, or manage a meeting. It's been 34 days since my position was "affected" by the "economy" at the old corporate hospital that shall remain unnamed. What if I just fall off the face of the corporate planet? Is that okay? Who do you check with about that?

I'm starting to think that I'm not okay with falling off the face of the planet. I tried to sign up for a job fair that is tomorrow. But when I re-reviewed the list of employers present, I realized I only wanted to work for one of them, and the positions they had available were out of my league. Like, really out of my league. Requiring a statistics background. Yeah. Not going to work. Unless I can keep Kirk on the instant messenger at all times.

So, I garden again on Wednesday. Hopefully it won't rain, like today. My poor white fancy t-shirt was dirty before I even left Janel's house, when a tarp of yard waste went over my shoulder as we hoisted it to her pick-up. Later, my cuffs turned filthy brown from the lack of coverage of my rain poncho. Hopefully the laundry will fix it up. On the other hand, it's not like I was going to wear it to a job interview on planet corporate.