How to run if you're an adult with exercise issues

Put one foot in front of the other. Repeat. Faster.

Just kidding. There's only slightly more to it, though. I feel like it's a good writing subject because it's really in your mind.

And just now, I realized I still worry about whether I am allowed to call myself a runner. I run low mileage, very slowly. Does that count? I think it counts as long as I continue to run very slowly for less than an hour at least once a month.

So here's how it started: I ran until I couldn't anymore. Sadly, this sometimes was only for a block or less. I then walked until I felt like I could run some more. Even more sadly, I spent all my walking time telling myself what a loser I was for not being able to run. Although this was not exactly ideal, it was at least getting my ass out the door. The iPod was crucial. A dead iPod battery canceled the run. This period was five years. No, I am not joking.

But I began to run for longer periods of time. So when the opportunity came to sign up for the "run camp" came around, I did my usual, "Sure! I have no idea what I'm signing up for, but otherwise I'll never do it" response. And as I have written previously, it served its purpose.

The positive running is working so much better for me. I ran yesterday, with the phrase, "I draw from resources within" as the theme, and despite the snow and 17 degrees, it was a wonderful, sunny two miles with excellent tunes. I am running two days a week, alternating between 3 mile and 2 mile runs. If I am feeling ambitious, I might add a long day in there, like a 4 or 5 mile run. But that's it. I'm not looking to destroy my knees, a race, a time, or anything else. I want to be able to do this, but not to the extinction of anything else I am doing.

So that's how to run. You're not a super athlete. Take it easy on yourself. 

Lost in la-la land.

Sorry there's been no post lately. I got lost. 

Fluffy kittens!

I figured I'd better post something cute, since I just poked the bee's nest on facebook. Mr. Awesome in the window, awwwww! Look how cute!

But really, I didn't do anything all that horrible. I need to simmer down. It really is okay for me to have an opinion. I'm just uncomfortable because I usually keep them under wraps. (I was just joking to Richard yesterday that no one knows when I disapprove of their decisions. It's a secret. Heck, sometimes I don't even know until I think about it.)

I guess that's why people are generally afraid or dismissive of those who post online (anywhere, really). How dare we say things that are not agreeable to all? I suppose it's no shock to those 563 "friends" that I have opinions. And I'm not really ashamed to say out loud that I don't see what the problem with stem cell research could be. Those embryos are a collection of cells, not humans. There. I said it. Flame me. 

But it's been 41 minutes and nothing bad has happened. Perhaps nothing bad will ever happen. Maybe something good might happen, or someone will look at an issue from another perspective. I don't want to explore the most quoted opinion analogy (you know, like assholes, blah blah blah) because I don't really like to think about that kind of stuff. Maybe they're more like hammers, or coffee tables (I like coffee! I like tables!). Everyone has got a hammer. Don't bonk people over the head with them, but nails are good to go. Not quite as catchy, but therefore not a cliche?

A.D.B.D.

Because I suffer from A.D.H.D. (Attention Deficit Hobby Disorder), this blog also has a problem (Attention Deficit Blog Disorder). I see the focus, but can anyone else?

I think the focus is that lots of things are interesting. In theory, ALL things are interesting if you pay attention to them. Attention and interest are almost the same thing, yes?

So, in that interest, allow me to update you on a few developments.

Positive Running: I ran a 5k yesterday, in the snow, through a Christmas tree farm and the rail trail. I tried to take a picture from my phone, but I had filled the memory card, and I was supposed to be running. The affirmation was "I am so lucky to be able to do this. What a beautiful day!". Or, between pants, "So lucky! Beautiful day!" I have no idea what my time was, and that's just fine. In fact, it might actually be the way to run.

Walk this Way: While running, I found my experiments in walking to be extra useful! The trail was "groomed" with snowmobiles, but this still left some deep snow areas. I found that by landing on my toe I could bound through these areas much easier. At work, I've softened my approach also. Heel-toe does work better for flats, but toe-heel is great in heels, and makes less of a racket. I would like to build a better habit of walking to dance class (which would theoretically make my walking during dance class toe-heel also), so that's the next experiment. (Related: Joette says we should get SALSA HEELS for the Greek Festival dance performance!!!) 

Keeping on: I actually feel pretty good about my goals this year so far. I have figured out I need at minimum $2,000 to go on the trip I may want this year, which would mean saving $166 a month. I have been running, and I found a sneaky way to make it fun. I've been blogging as scheduled. I did a few home projects that made me happy. And it was not a struggle. It was FUN!

But we're only 30 days in. So hang tough. Hang loose. Hang out. 

Positive running

I had one of those crazy shower thoughts that seems brilliant while you're wet, and still makes sense later too. I would like to live my life believing that the ideas that make you smile and feel fizzy are the good ones. So I'm going for it.

I have done the local "Run Camp" program for the last two winters. You meet with a group of people (there are hundreds signed up) who run your same pace every Saturday, get a little education session, and go for a run. They give you a training program, support, snacks, leader, etc. The first year I was super-literal (surprise!) about the program, but was probably assigned to a group that ran too fast for me (but I was assigned! they were MY group!). I felt the healthiest I'd ever felt, and yet, the whole program ended with me having my thyroid removed for tumors. (It was certainly not a cause and effect situation, but it was a bit defeating.)

The second year I was better matched with a group, but I'd lost that literal feeling, so I didn't do as well. I basically found that I said horrible things to myself as I ran. Although the running was getting "done", my ego was freaking out and fighting with that other person(???) and the other insisted that I walk when overly winded, or bored, or whatever. The reward for not quitting was NOT being the last one in, which wasn't necessarily within my control, depending on whether the woman with the knee injury had showed up that particular morning. (Also, SATURDAY morning. So unkind.)

So I'd decided not to do it this year, and I felt good about that decision. I was still going to run (and probably even run the race that the camp was training them all to run), but I wasn't going to torture myself again.

But running is magic! It's the way to self-actualization! If you are a runner, you are the epitome of health and devotion and zen. I knew there had to be a better way.

My better way is this. I call it Positive Running.

1. Follow the plan, but chant an affirmation. You don't have to literally chant, but I want to have a positive thought in mind. Today's alternated between "It's fun to run!" and "I run to take care of my body."

2. Rewards. I am (pathetically) motivated by pretty nails and extra internet time. In the longer term, I can get books for my e-reader. In the longest term, I will get some fancy-ass John Fluevog shoes. And that's the whole plan. It seemed more detailed in the shower.....

one day service

I like to read it like it's a promise - one day, Service. It's one of the sights that made me instantly happy. This neon had been dark for so long.

It's also the last picture I've uploaded. September 2011. I have more on my camera (the afore-mentioned NOLA pics, some bands, etc.) I love to take pictures. I'm not sure what the blockage is all about.

ONE day service. Maybe that's the approach. It's just one day. Take some pictures, share them. Do it again some other day. One.

Or maybe this is a picture about Paris. Get your ducks in a row, lady duck, and fly to Paris. (It's funny how the ducks came in there - this cleaner is near the creek, where the geese and ducks like to land / gather / fish.) You know you want to go back.

All of these things together make it the picture of motivation. Service, One, Paris, that fluorescent light on inside, the dusky sky, pulling the car into the parking lot and taking this picture spontaneously. That is what I would like to remember. 

Black and white

I know it's best not to get into these things, but I did it anyway. I got in the facebook comment argument with an old high school friend and total strangers, about an issue that I don't really care about, to illustrate a principle. Which, when I think about it, makes it a total circular argument, since the crappy "informational graphic" that started the whole thing was probably more about principle than fact relay.

For being such a "literal" thinker, I don't have the black and white vision. I can always see it both ways and I always like the freakonomics angle better. I have a tendency to argue that the weather really isn't that horrible, that it was actually quite sunny, even though it was bitter cold. Is this optimism or just to be "contrary", as my parents used to call it? I don't know. 

And I suppose the reason I got all worked about a facebook post was because of logical fallacy (again. See the post about Gender Blender, which turned out to be the fallacy of false dichotomy). It was that one about the "Salary for Life" of various government positions. Number one, the salary figures were incorrect. And the call to action was about "where the cuts should be made". So, I guess we have the argument from fallacy (since the argument is false, the conclusion MUST be false).

But really, I think they just haven't thought all the grey areas. So how would one compensate a public official? If you paid them less, would they still need to relocate to the Washington area? Or would you only attract independently wealthy candidates? (One could argue we are already doing that based on campaign finance requirements.) Wouldn't paying them for life keep them out of lobbyist field, which would seem like a good thing? 

So that's what I did with my Sunday night. I threw it away thinking about gluten-free diets and logical fallacies.