When it was so hot, I moved very slowly. It made everything kind of dreamy, and I was dreaming of those who live in the hot temperatures all the time, and how it would be easier if my life were structured for heat. It's funny, right now I can't even remember why we were in such a panic. But you'd just be sitting there, warm, and realize I'm so sweaty and I can't cool down! And then you'd get that panic hot, the kind that I dream can kill you.
But it's over now, I keep telling myself. Is it? Now it is. Relax. Remember the lessons.
Lesson 1: It's okay to be hot. This is very obnoxious of me to state, because I generally have resources. I can go in the house (blinds were pulled, doors and windows closed until evening, because we don't have the luxury of central air). I can open the refrigerator and get a cool drink. I can drive somewhere in my car, maybe even drive to a place with air conditioning. Lots of resources.
Lesson 2: A hangover in extreme heat is quite awful. Lay off the sauce.
Lesson 3: You are afraid to be with yourself sometimes, and that's part of the heat panic. It's true. But I quit. I'm planning to make friends with myself. I can do things by myself, and I am good company. So far, I have gone to the bar by myself, and driven to the beach by myself. I need to assign myself some other tasks (like maybe start a home project by myself?) before I can call myself independent. If you think of any, please let me know. I'm quite serious.
Lesson 4: But the best part is still when the heat subsides and you're still standing.
Sadly, I did not sweat away any pounds.
But it's over now, I keep telling myself. Is it? Now it is. Relax. Remember the lessons.
Lesson 1: It's okay to be hot. This is very obnoxious of me to state, because I generally have resources. I can go in the house (blinds were pulled, doors and windows closed until evening, because we don't have the luxury of central air). I can open the refrigerator and get a cool drink. I can drive somewhere in my car, maybe even drive to a place with air conditioning. Lots of resources.
Lesson 2: A hangover in extreme heat is quite awful. Lay off the sauce.
Lesson 3: You are afraid to be with yourself sometimes, and that's part of the heat panic. It's true. But I quit. I'm planning to make friends with myself. I can do things by myself, and I am good company. So far, I have gone to the bar by myself, and driven to the beach by myself. I need to assign myself some other tasks (like maybe start a home project by myself?) before I can call myself independent. If you think of any, please let me know. I'm quite serious.
Lesson 4: But the best part is still when the heat subsides and you're still standing.
Sadly, I did not sweat away any pounds.
As somebody who absolutely LOVES doing things alone, I'm at a loss to tell you where to begin. You went to Chicago by yourself, didn't you? Wasn't that kind of awesome? I really got a bang out of doing that my Lynda Barry weekend. Going to the beach or for a long hike is good, too. I know, I know, we're all supposed to be terrified that some rapist is going to leap out of the bushes at us but, you know what? The percentage of times that it actually happens to somebody makes the fear of it sort of silly. Carry mace, it'll be fine! The natural world helps ease up all those inner voices that chatter at you. Yep. That's all. Unwriterly yern, Ames.
ReplyDeleteWell, it wasn't real Chicago, it was a suburb. But I USED to go to Chicago all the time by myself. And I did go to the beach by myself (to meet friends) for the last two weekends, and I opened the painted-shut window by myself. Progress? Yes.
ReplyDeleteHooray! You are woman, hear you roar! Yep! Every step is progress. I've been having to remind myself of that a lot lately. I've been feeling overhwlemed with various projects that need to get done. The problem is that once I start on one project, it makes me hyper-aware of all the other projects that I've been putting off, which in turn makes me realize what a lazy slob I am, and then i feel like there's more stuff to be done than I can ever possibly do and I get sort of freaked out and buried-feeling. Aaaaaand then I have to breathe deeply and remind myself that, seriously, I can only do one (or maybe two or three) thing at a time, and that's okay. There is a Stuart Smalley in my head that I rely on more than anybody realizes. "And that's...okay!"
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