Correspondence

Letter Carrier Collecting Mail, originally uploaded by Smithsonian Institution.

Just in time for my "I should write more email letters, like I used to" thoughts, Google has made it SCIENTIFICALLY possible to send messages to anyone on the Google world. Crazy scary, or crazy cool?


I also have a real letter to write, in response to a real letter. Like, on paper. With a pen. And maybe some sparkly stickers.

And, I need to write some letters that won't get sent. You know, that old trick. Get it off your chest, then burn it and cry or something. I think I spent all my teen years doing this.

I also know there are crazy pen pal hook-ups out there, but I might be too old for that. I want real correspondence, with the people that I know and love and want to communicate with. It's about connection.

I used to have multiple pen pals as a child from Sweden, Australia, England, California (I know, California is not a country, but it was a foreign land to me at the time). We happily chattered about school and favorite meals and friends, and with the girl from California whom I wrote to for more than 10 years, boyfriends and marriages.

And I don't do that anymore. I do see the irony, coming from someone who returns text messages hours later, but that doesn't mean I don't have something to say.

So here's to communication, readers. Let's get it out there, whatever way we know how. I'm going to try paper for a while. I re-discovered my storage bin of stationery and I have more than enough paper (and most likely, random ramblings) to entertain us all for the rest of the millennium. Who wants a letter? Use the magical Google plusness to send me your address.

Free Milk!

I just finished reading the Bloggesseseses' book and realizing how stupid and amazing it is that we can write books from the internet. Or are we writing books ON the internet? For the internet?

I guess it doesn't matter, because one of the more respectable occupations I've pined for over the years was "writer", and now I could say I am doing it. Oh sure, a big bound wad of paper for the coffee table would be impressive to more, but you can not deny that I have written this, and you are reading it. (Unless, I never get this thing out of draft mode, which is entirely possible.)

And it also stuns me to realize how many of the books I've read recently are blog-based. I got the Foodist for my Kindle, which wasn't really bright because I'd like to loan it to some people or have it in the kitchen. Oh well. I bought TWO copies of Humans of New York for Christmas gifts. I am now less dumb! and have the book to prove it.

But I am also aware that I am not writing books. (To wit - I'm nibbling through the decadent granola chocolate bacon bar that is Infinite Jest again. This is not anywhere close to that.) I've apparently cast myself as the cow, the cow that gives away free milk and doesn't need to purchased unless you're a foolish, greedy man who is scared of generosity.

Really, when I think about that analogy, I'm most angry with the cow-boycotting man, who will not appreciate the gifts he is receiving, but will continue to accept them without gratitude. The cow is just giving away milk, BECAUSE SHE MUST. She will explode if the milk is not expressed, and it would be quite painful. If you've sampled the milk, and you find it delicious, then pay for your milk, JERKFACE.

(By the way, I do realize that paying FOR the cow does not actually compensate the cow, but rather the other man, who owns the cow. And also, this is why I never want to hear this applied to a relationship EVER AGAIN. Unless you come from a culture that actually uses a dowry, please, stop. Milk is free and fun. It doesn't really apply to a business situation either if you mean to imply that the independent contractor cow is at fault for not receiving fees for her services, because the COW WORKS FOR SOMEONE ELSE. If you find a cow with a checking account, please let me know.)

But I haven't really learned many lessons either. I have pondered the difference between a blog that I could read for free and the book I must purchase and read in its entirety, and I'm not sure what the magic factor is. I'd like to remain open to paying for books from blogs I enjoy, because I like to think of myself as a nice person who pays for her milk. But on the other hand, there's so much good stuff out there!

And know that I'm certainly not asking you to pay me for anything. Unless you're like Penguin or St. Martin's Press or something... in which case, drop me a line. I could come up with some special dairy, just for you.

But it's a wonderful thing, isn't it, that there's so much to choose from? What blogs do you enjoy that should be books? What books have you read recently? 

Word of the year: Enough

You know how there's those people who are like, "I love Christmas!" or "Halloween is my favorite holiday!" Well, I'm the one that ADORES New Year's. Lists! Parties! Optimistic statements and wishes for future happiness! This is what makes me tick. 

In the past, I've done the whole inventory-of-past-disappointments with a detailed plan-for-future-success baloney. I've made lists of resolutions. I've narrowed the resolutions down to only 3 (or maybe 5). I've stopped calling them resolutions, so people stop laughing at my idealistic intentions. And really, I think I've succeeded most of the time, in that I still believe in trying to make it better. 

So this year, I'm trying microhabits, not resolutions. Easy to keep. Almost stupidly so, in fact. But hopefully, these tiny steps will make big things happen. Vague enough to be applicable in a lot of situations, but specific enough to move the ball forward. The framework is "enough". These are the little triangles in the corner of said frame:

1. Say hi to the "boss" every day (the boss being whoever runs the particular endeavor I'm trying to participate with). 

2. Say hi to the "family" every day (the family being my friends, colleagues, co-pilots, passersby, etc.)

3. Find one truth every day (the truth being beauty, or quiet, or something I need to say).

4. Pick up one piece of trash every day (trash being anything from actual trash to a mess that I've made in a relationship or whatever).

And this is part of the picture with which I hope to fill the frame:

26 books read

52 blog posts!!!

104 dances

206 hugs

345 pleasant dreams

365 trash bags (hopefully not literally....)

730 hellos

Enforced focus

I have created this situation where whatever (pleasurable! awesome! fun!) thing I am doing, I feel like I should be doing something else. But, I am learning that I can only do one thing at a time effectively. On the one hand, I am grateful that I have so many opportunities and resources and friends. On the other hand, I should be knitting your Christmas hat. In reality, I am laying on the bed and the cat has settled on my back for a purring nap session. Which is also pretty cool. 

But seriously, it's one thing at a time. And some of these things don't need to be done. Stay on target. Listen to the universe (cat) and stay down. He's just going to snag your sweater if you defy him. 

Thanksgiving FAIL

Well, my attempts to undermine the dominant turkey paradigm are crumbling as we speak.

I suppose it was kind of selfish of me to try to get out of cooking Thanksgiving dinner. Although, it felt like self care at the time.

You see, last year my husband and I were struck by a sudden bout of food poisoning a few hours after the big feast. (Of course, we were at a social event at the time. Sudden onset projectile vomiting. Horrifying.) No, it wasn't due to the feast, but the food products involved don't quite seem appetizing yet.

This year as it turned out, my favorite guests would be traveling out of town. It seemed like a good time to try a new tradition. I visualized volunteering somewhere, then eating something simple (non-turkey based) with a small group of family at home.

But you can't just quit the holidays. People expect the usual. And my poor brother, who had done nothing wrong, didn't have an invite anywhere else. Volunteering is apparently pretty popular idea on Thanksgiving, and my top pick doesn't need me. More orphans wandered into view.

But I think I can still do it. I think I can take care of myself, take care of others, and not barf. This is not rocket science. It's THANKSGIVING. I am going to make some phone calls tomorrow, pick up a turkey breast (I already bought the brussels sprouts and and sweet potatoes), and punch my imaginary Martha Stewart in the face. If somebody wants pumpkin pie, they'll have to bring their own, because that makes me the queasiest to remember. But it could never be as bad as last year. If it's bad, it will be a 2013 kind of horrible.

SSCSC Fortnight 3: Do it for me, says you.

So, it's taking 2 weeks to do 7 things. That's okay. And you will notice a dearth of pictures, which I will blame on greedy Google, who wanted all the pictures on my phone automatically and as soon as they were taken, and I said no, and now I can't figure out how to share them on my own schedule.

But really, HOW DID IT GO? Did you try any self-care challenges (The SSCSC stands for something, you know - Selfish Self Care Selfie Challenge.)  Did you take yourself to lunch at the coffee shop and end up sitting next to some sort of weird evangelist, and need to hoist up an energy field to keep him from trying to save you? Did you maybe take the new outfit thing a little too far and buy 3 tops, 2 pairs of pants and a purse? Did you not only put your fork down, but on the advice of the Foodist, you starting counting your chews for a whole new OCD eating experience? Because, if you did, you might have been a little scared, but in the end, you might have learned something. And if it felt good, it could be a good new way to take care of yourself.

So, this is the last time I'm going to post challenges. The busy season begins soon. (You know. Holidays. Obligations. Nesting.) The days are shorter. Slow down, and pat yourself on the back. It's a gift for yourself that benefits others. That's what I keep telling myself.

1. Plan a girls night. Or a boys night.
Before it gets too busy, go out with your pals and get all the gossip. Or start some gossip, whatever floats your proverbial boat.

2. Read a trashy magazine.
I like a fashion mag, personally.

3. Rip out a page from said magazine and start a vision collage.
You know how sometimes an image just speaks to you and you don't know why yet? I'm going to paste mine on a piece of cardboard or something and see what happens. Perhaps I'll end up with Corgis wearing opal necklaces chewing on my batik bedding and dragging it through my pristine white subway tiled kitchen. Perhaps I'll get angry and burn it and accept my completely opposite life (an extremely respectful Siamese cat who does not wear jewelry, but enjoys floral bedding and cluttered tiny kitchens with folk art...). But I'm a visual learner, and I need to see the pictures.

4. Take a new exercise adventure.
I'm scoping out some Zumba classes.

5. Find a new lunch recipe.
Maybe a whole grain salad! Or super delicious soup.

6. Create some art about this lunch.
Could be a poem, drawing, photo, song, I don't know. Inspired by lunch! What could be more filling?

7. Pay a debt.
Doesn't need to be with money, either. You owe somebody something, somewhere. Pay it back.

So, that's it for now. Oh, I have a list of more challenges. And I am having fun with it, by myself. But it'd be more fun with you. Perhaps this old hat, treading water, nothing new in your world. I'd love to hear about your experiences, too. 

Go to bed early

Now that the time has changed, it's no big deal. But here's me, in the bed at 8:40 pm on Halloween night. (With a book that I finished at 10:15, but never mind that). 

Sleep is so fantastic for every aspect of health. Why not treat yourself and GO TO BED ALREADY??