Enforced focus

I have created this situation where whatever (pleasurable! awesome! fun!) thing I am doing, I feel like I should be doing something else. But, I am learning that I can only do one thing at a time effectively. On the one hand, I am grateful that I have so many opportunities and resources and friends. On the other hand, I should be knitting your Christmas hat. In reality, I am laying on the bed and the cat has settled on my back for a purring nap session. Which is also pretty cool. 

But seriously, it's one thing at a time. And some of these things don't need to be done. Stay on target. Listen to the universe (cat) and stay down. He's just going to snag your sweater if you defy him. 

Thanksgiving FAIL

Well, my attempts to undermine the dominant turkey paradigm are crumbling as we speak.

I suppose it was kind of selfish of me to try to get out of cooking Thanksgiving dinner. Although, it felt like self care at the time.

You see, last year my husband and I were struck by a sudden bout of food poisoning a few hours after the big feast. (Of course, we were at a social event at the time. Sudden onset projectile vomiting. Horrifying.) No, it wasn't due to the feast, but the food products involved don't quite seem appetizing yet.

This year as it turned out, my favorite guests would be traveling out of town. It seemed like a good time to try a new tradition. I visualized volunteering somewhere, then eating something simple (non-turkey based) with a small group of family at home.

But you can't just quit the holidays. People expect the usual. And my poor brother, who had done nothing wrong, didn't have an invite anywhere else. Volunteering is apparently pretty popular idea on Thanksgiving, and my top pick doesn't need me. More orphans wandered into view.

But I think I can still do it. I think I can take care of myself, take care of others, and not barf. This is not rocket science. It's THANKSGIVING. I am going to make some phone calls tomorrow, pick up a turkey breast (I already bought the brussels sprouts and and sweet potatoes), and punch my imaginary Martha Stewart in the face. If somebody wants pumpkin pie, they'll have to bring their own, because that makes me the queasiest to remember. But it could never be as bad as last year. If it's bad, it will be a 2013 kind of horrible.

SSCSC Fortnight 3: Do it for me, says you.

So, it's taking 2 weeks to do 7 things. That's okay. And you will notice a dearth of pictures, which I will blame on greedy Google, who wanted all the pictures on my phone automatically and as soon as they were taken, and I said no, and now I can't figure out how to share them on my own schedule.

But really, HOW DID IT GO? Did you try any self-care challenges (The SSCSC stands for something, you know - Selfish Self Care Selfie Challenge.)  Did you take yourself to lunch at the coffee shop and end up sitting next to some sort of weird evangelist, and need to hoist up an energy field to keep him from trying to save you? Did you maybe take the new outfit thing a little too far and buy 3 tops, 2 pairs of pants and a purse? Did you not only put your fork down, but on the advice of the Foodist, you starting counting your chews for a whole new OCD eating experience? Because, if you did, you might have been a little scared, but in the end, you might have learned something. And if it felt good, it could be a good new way to take care of yourself.

So, this is the last time I'm going to post challenges. The busy season begins soon. (You know. Holidays. Obligations. Nesting.) The days are shorter. Slow down, and pat yourself on the back. It's a gift for yourself that benefits others. That's what I keep telling myself.

1. Plan a girls night. Or a boys night.
Before it gets too busy, go out with your pals and get all the gossip. Or start some gossip, whatever floats your proverbial boat.

2. Read a trashy magazine.
I like a fashion mag, personally.

3. Rip out a page from said magazine and start a vision collage.
You know how sometimes an image just speaks to you and you don't know why yet? I'm going to paste mine on a piece of cardboard or something and see what happens. Perhaps I'll end up with Corgis wearing opal necklaces chewing on my batik bedding and dragging it through my pristine white subway tiled kitchen. Perhaps I'll get angry and burn it and accept my completely opposite life (an extremely respectful Siamese cat who does not wear jewelry, but enjoys floral bedding and cluttered tiny kitchens with folk art...). But I'm a visual learner, and I need to see the pictures.

4. Take a new exercise adventure.
I'm scoping out some Zumba classes.

5. Find a new lunch recipe.
Maybe a whole grain salad! Or super delicious soup.

6. Create some art about this lunch.
Could be a poem, drawing, photo, song, I don't know. Inspired by lunch! What could be more filling?

7. Pay a debt.
Doesn't need to be with money, either. You owe somebody something, somewhere. Pay it back.

So, that's it for now. Oh, I have a list of more challenges. And I am having fun with it, by myself. But it'd be more fun with you. Perhaps this old hat, treading water, nothing new in your world. I'd love to hear about your experiences, too. 

Go to bed early

Now that the time has changed, it's no big deal. But here's me, in the bed at 8:40 pm on Halloween night. (With a book that I finished at 10:15, but never mind that). 

Sleep is so fantastic for every aspect of health. Why not treat yourself and GO TO BED ALREADY??

SSCSC Week Two (Selfish Self-Care Selfie Challenge, duh!)

So, how's your challenge going?
A) What challenge?
B) About as well as yours, I'm guessing, you slacking blogger.
C) I don't like to be too challenged. Leave me alone.
D) Maybe you should just start writing open letters, Liz. Seriously. It's all the rage.

Blurry selfie with cat

Yeah, so it's been 15 or 16 days. I didn't want to freak anyone out with a speedy pace. But really, how is it going?

A little explanation, I guess. In case you don't follow my blog (ah ahahahahahaha....), I was trying to challenge you to take of yourself. I challenge you out of love, of course. And because I need a self-love ass-kicking too. The basic concept is, do the challenge, take a picture, post it somewhere (maybe somewhere I can see it?). It IS challenging, as you may notice from my lack of pictures.

But a new day, a new piece of paper, we can start over when we make up our rules, which is always, do not delude yourself.

So, here's the new ones.

1. Sit at a coffee shop / bar / cafe, and people watch. See if you can change people's behavior with your energy.
Funny, I was just reminiscing about the fun of study hall staring in high school. Pretty consistently, I could make a random student touch their neck or hair or fidget just by staring at the back of their head or neck. It's like magic. (Jerk magic, granted, but it's what I've got.)

2. Put together a new outfit.
TAKE A PICTURE. Shouldn't be that hard. Doesn't have to be new stuff. I totally believe that clothes control energy and self-image, so make it a good one.

3. Put your fork down between bites.
This sounds easy, but you might find yourself uncomfortable. Try and figure out why you would shovel in food that you're not paying any attention to.

4. Go to bed early.
I love my bed. Wait, why I am still awake right now? Since I generally need to be awake sooner than I would like, or when I sleep in I hate myself for missing half the morning, the best way to get more rest / beauty sleep / sex is to GO TO BED EARLY. Seriously, your parents are over your bedtime "rebellion". Just go to bed. You're not missing anything.

5. Spa day.
It doesn't have to be fancy. Wash your face with the nice soap, use the eye cream, self foot massage, whatever. It's okay to do nice things FOR YOURSELF. Sometimes I shock myself with my own self-cruelty. Savage flossing, rushing through the routines, repeatedly buying or using products that don't actually please you in any way... what is the point?

6. Nature walk.
Okay, so it can't all be about ourselves. Go out there (wherever that is for YOU) and connect with nature. Woods, beach, mountain, desert, whatever you got.

7. Organize your desk or bookshelf.
I find I can't think when I see clutter. Fix your thinking place for better thinking.

The rules again: Take a picture. Post it (I am on Flickr, Instagram, Facebook, and Google+. Don't pretend you don't know me.) Comment. Feedback!

That being said, the challengingest challenge last time for me was the dancing by myself. Oh, I did a lot of dancing. But it's not that fun to dance by yourself. I'll keep trying though.

It's all we can do?

The Selfish Self Care Selfie Challenge (SSCSC)

I had so much fun doing the Sarah Jenks Live More Weigh Less Challenge that I decided to make my own and keep going. Indeed, selfishness is all the rage! Let's take care of ourselves before it's too late. And self portraits are so easy to take these days that it's the most obvious kind of of self-documentation we can do.

What are you signing up for? For what are you up signing? I can't imagine it will be more than 30 days. (Unless someone else wants to come up with challenges for a while.... mull that over.) Read the week's challenges. Take a picture of yourself performing each one. Post it on Instragram or Facebook or whatever it is the kids are doing these days, and put a comment on the blog so I can go look for it. If you're super smart, maybe you can even post it in the comments. I'm barely able to get picture posted on my own damn blog, for some reason, so I'll leave that to you geniuses.

First, a little about intent. I'm being a little ironic about the Selfish part of this challenge. It does feel selfish to take care of yourself sometimes, and which makes the whole concept of "Put on your own oxygen mask before you attempt to help other passengers" a necessary instruction. But you have to admit that sometimes it's true. When it feels like you can't change anything in the world, you can always change yourself.

My goal in helping myself is to build some accountability and respect (it seems when I ask myself WHY? WHY? WHY? WHY? WHY?, it's frequently about respect). So you'll see a lot of challenges about food in here, because food / body / brain respect is toughie for some reason.

BLAH BLAH BLAH. What are the challenges, already?

1. Give someone a gift.
I stole this one from Sarah Jenks. It was the last challenge on her list, and I didn't get it done yet. Also, it's been in my work bag since July. But to get you over that "selfish" hump, be selfless and give it away first. Then get down.

2. Take care of your nails.
However you do that, because I know the dudes might not want red toenails. But I do. Or maybe sparkly silver....can I do plaid? Take a picture. Heck, you could put that mother on Pinterest and get a ton of shares!

3. Refuse food from a food pusher.
You know, that skinny Minnie at work with the donuts. The gross Hamburger Helper sample in the grocery store. Whatever gets pushed at you, that you don't want, you can say no.

4. Dance with yourself.
Make a choreography. Post it. (I don't expect anyone to do that.) But at least waltz around the kitchen with your toast.

5. Set the table (for a feast?).
Get some flowers, use a napkin. Take a picture. It helps you RESPECT the vittles.

6. Plan a meal.
Plan the next meal. Or a week of meals. Make sure you have the foods you like that make you feel like a superhero handy.

7. Plan a party.
It can be the smallest of soirees or a giant rave, I care not. I highly recommend implementing the plan (but don't forget to invite me!). I am also cheating, because I have a big party planned 7 days from now. So at least I'll have pictures.

And then what?

I finally figured out how to find out what I want. It only took one life coach, the root cause analysis process, and the Spice Girls to get me there.

First, the Spice Girls. Because they're just the inane soundtrack. (Man, I don't remember them all being so skinny! Oh, the 90s.) They've got the right idea. But they don't ask the question quite enough. 

So, tell me what you want, what you really really want?

Root cause analysis is a technique used in healthcare performance improvement to find out why an error really occurred, i.e., the root cause. One of the steps is to ask "Why?" 5 times. No, I'm not kidding. Yes, that's a very specific number, but you can keep going. 

The first answer is flippant. But then you start to go down passageways, toward answers that aren't so obvious.

For example: Why did the nurse drop the baby?

Because she was distracted. 

Why was she distracted?

Because there was a lot of activity in the room at that moment, and the nurse was on overtime and exhausted.

Why was the nurse on overtime?

Staffing issues.

Why were there staffing issues?

Because the hospital had let quite a few staff go recently and had not replaced them.

Why were there layoffs at the hospital?.

Because the financials were not so good last quarter.

So. you can infer that a nurse dropped a baby because the financials were not good. Terrifying, really. If you kept going, you would end up so zoomed out (the big picture!) that there was nothing you could change at the local level. (Why? Because the American health care system is broken. Why? Because humans can be selfish and greedy and reluctant to change. Etc.)

So what does that mean to me? In my endless struggle to do stuff I want to do, as well as the stuff I have to do, it helps to know what it is you want. And sometimes, the first answer is flippant. So, my latest approach is to lay in bed and think of what I want out of this day. And then ask myself, and then what? Perhaps, 5 times. This, I stole from the life coach, Martha Beck. 

Does it work? Yes, I think it does. It gets you closer to the truth. And although that can be a little scary, it's also necessary. I also like that it's supported by techniques in other fields. (You know, references! Always important.) So I'm going to try it a little longer.

So, TELL ME WHAT YOU WANT, WHAT YOU REALLY REALLY WANT. 

HA!