(Schmender.) I've been thinking about gender issues today. Linsdsey posted this video on her facebook page. I'd seen it before, and it did bother me for about a minute at the time, but I got over it (which I will explain shortly):
1. These are young, inexperienced people. Do you know what an idiot I was when I was 20? I try not to think about it. Ever. Shudder. But I remember enough to know these people are temporarily insane.
2. I consider ALL of my friends, male and female, smart, funny, and attractive for one reason or another. I also would only consider sexual partners of the same description. Am I plotting to "trick" everyone into bed? Apparently.
3. Upon further consideration, that ismost definitely could possibly be true. I have made major education, career, and, in fact, predictions for the coming new year based on interactions with men, whom I may have found quite attractive. So stone me. I'm a whore.
This would all be hilarious, except that modern American society will take me literally. Despite the fact I've been married for 18 years, once been given the nickname "Vanilla Square" (because I'm the imaginary stripper that would be all BA DA BA DA BABA but then be too shy to whip my top off and therefore runs off the stage), and otherwise reputable member of society, I'm subject to slut-shaming, misogyny, and judgement. Just for being a woman.
It pisses me off that I even have to think about being a "reputable" member of society. My mother and my grandmother were very worried about reputation. It sometimes amuses me to think of the horror they would feel if they were alive now about my Middle Eastern dance obsession. (See? It's making me use fancy terms for belly dance.) Why can't I just do things that are loving, moral, and make me happy?
So, foolish young adults, you are correct. Men and women can't be "friends". Especially if "friends" means something like "coffee table" or "inert material" to you. Friends interact and touch and sway back and forth. It's kind of sexy, but it doesn't need to be SEX.
1. These are young, inexperienced people. Do you know what an idiot I was when I was 20? I try not to think about it. Ever. Shudder. But I remember enough to know these people are temporarily insane.
2. I consider ALL of my friends, male and female, smart, funny, and attractive for one reason or another. I also would only consider sexual partners of the same description. Am I plotting to "trick" everyone into bed? Apparently.
3. Upon further consideration, that is
This would all be hilarious, except that modern American society will take me literally. Despite the fact I've been married for 18 years, once been given the nickname "Vanilla Square" (because I'm the imaginary stripper that would be all BA DA BA DA BABA but then be too shy to whip my top off and therefore runs off the stage), and otherwise reputable member of society, I'm subject to slut-shaming, misogyny, and judgement. Just for being a woman.
It pisses me off that I even have to think about being a "reputable" member of society. My mother and my grandmother were very worried about reputation. It sometimes amuses me to think of the horror they would feel if they were alive now about my Middle Eastern dance obsession. (See? It's making me use fancy terms for belly dance.) Why can't I just do things that are loving, moral, and make me happy?
So, foolish young adults, you are correct. Men and women can't be "friends". Especially if "friends" means something like "coffee table" or "inert material" to you. Friends interact and touch and sway back and forth. It's kind of sexy, but it doesn't need to be SEX.
where is the "like" button?
ReplyDeleteshameless flirting with men and/or women does not = sex.
Wiz, why have I forgotten about your blog until you posted a link to it? You are making me late for my morning shower because your writing pleases me so!
ReplyDelete