Monday, July 20, 2009

More smashing.

Saturday, I smashed my bike helmet. It shouldn't have been that easy to do, is one excuse. I was just frustrated by the difficulty of the trail, and how hot I was on a perfectly cool day, and meant to just toss it a little and pick it up. The plastic over the foam immediately popped off (apparently just held on with a sticker!!!) and it all fell in a patch of poison ivy, ironically. I carried it until I found a trash barrell, which was another 4 miles up.

Richard had gone ahead and didn't really pay much attention to my tantrum until we stopped and talked about it. It's rare for me to be angry, really. I can't decide if it's more helpful to feel the negative emotions, or to brainwash myself with the usual positive statements. But yeah, I'm pissed, I suppose. I'm frustrated. I also know, it'll happen when it's supposed to happen.

I'll just keep pedaling for that smiley face in the clouds. There really was one. I didn't even try to take a picture, because I knew it was only visible because that's what I was looking for.

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

It's like running in a circle.

I tried to apply for some more jobs last night. Same effect as before! Too chicken to hit the "Apply" button. But chicken isn't really the problem. Part of it is a fear of success, that I will actually have to go out and meet some people and go back inside.

This is not to say there aren't some applications out there, simmering. I haven't heard back yet, which seems like a good thing. Many of the other jobs I have applied for got back to me in less than 24 hours with rejections.

Today I'll have to call the old hospital, because I have to beef up my resume for federal jobs. They want MONTH and year, and I sure can't remember that much detail, along with salary, which I certainly don't remember. I watched a little video on the OPM (Office of Personnell Management) website last night, and the tiny federal man and his captions are correct - I will need to put some work into it, and therefore will get out of it what I put in.

In the mean time, we got a kitten (Mr. Sam Awesome!) but my father's long-time companion ("love of his life", he said) died. I'm ready for 2009 to turn around.