Tuesday, November 26, 2013

Thanksgiving FAIL

Well, my attempts to undermine the dominant turkey paradigm are crumbling as we speak.


I suppose it was kind of selfish of me to try to get out of cooking Thanksgiving dinner. Although, it felt like self care at the time.

You see, last year my husband and I were struck by a sudden bout of food poisoning a few hours after the big feast. (Of course, we were at a social event at the time. Sudden onset projectile vomiting. Horrifying.) No, it wasn't due to the feast, but the food products involved don't quite seem appetizing yet.

This year as it turned out, my favorite guests would be traveling out of town. It seemed like a good time to try a new tradition. I visualized volunteering somewhere, then eating something simple (non-turkey based) with a small group of family at home.

But you can't just quit the holidays. People expect the usual. And my poor brother, who had done nothing wrong, didn't have an invite anywhere else. Volunteering is apparently pretty popular idea on Thanksgiving, and my top pick doesn't need me. More orphans wandered into view.

But I think I can still do it. I think I can take care of myself, take care of others, and not barf. This is not rocket science. It's THANKSGIVING. I am going to make some phone calls tomorrow, pick up a turkey breast (I already bought the brussels sprouts and and sweet potatoes), and punch my imaginary Martha Stewart in the face. If somebody wants pumpkin pie, they'll have to bring their own, because that makes me the queasiest to remember. But it could never be as bad as last year. If it's bad, it will be a 2013 kind of horrible.





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