I hate running. I love running.

Ah, the power of attitude and expectation. It's so exciting for an optimist like me, but it also makes a lot of things your responsibility. It is a little terrifying that there's a voice inside of your conscious that says all these horrible things. (You're not going to make it. You're never going to be good at this. You look like an idiot. The weather is against you. That dog want to eat your shoes. Your belly is hanging out. They didn't wave back because they think you're stupid. You're going to injure yourself permanently and end up fatter than ever.) I could go on, but it's probably not a good idea.

I think that if I could get a happy thought generator opposite the other one, I could run a lot happier. I'm assuming happier is faster and longer, but maybe I shouldn't make that assumption. That is a nice thing about the Run Camp concept. It's kind of awkward, but I do think telling the person you're passing "Nice job!" really helps everyone. I forget that not every runner in town is familiar with this concept, and get some blank looks from, say, the WMU cross-country team every now and then, but every Saturday when I run with the group, it's a nice time. (Wait, not that I ever pass a cross-country team going the same direction. It's much more likely to meet them head-on because I didn't have time to turn down a side street to avoid them.)

The goal really is to do better than last year. The goal is to keep running when camp is over, hopefully about 10 miles per week. The goal is to be happy and not struggle against it. I think these are do-able goals. I will be good at trying to set some goals. I will look like an idiot sometimes, but that's even when I'm not running. The weather is just there. That dog would like to eat my shoes, but he has to catch me first. They didn't wave back because they were texting. You won't let yourself get injured.

Slacking, looking backwards

What could be more fascinating than a blog about how I forgot to blog? Oh, nevermind. I know better.

I would now like to point out the anniversaries of some crappy things, and optimistically note how much has changed.

Two years ago, I lost my fancy high-paying corporate healthcare job. I would have never pictured, or known how or where to apply for, my current job. Sure, it's not fancy, I don't have a health club membership, and it's pretty hard to describe what I do. But it's also perfect for me in that I pretty much do whatever they need to get done. It's a small company, they're not evil and I like truly everyone that works there. Happy ending? Works for me.

One year ago, I was going through the diagnosis part of the thyroid cancer experience. I still don't see a lesson learned or a horrible up or down side. It was just an experience. Perhaps this will reassure the people of Japan that their children will be fine after the radiation exposures. We can watch each other and smile and say, see, it was okay?

Maybe there was something learned - my hair is crazy curly now, instead of the nice wavy it used to be.